Okay. It's spring. That means, well, you know....( So there's a back story on this one (aka 'Why the boy I have a crush on thinks I don't like boys.') )
Then....last month, I was in the downtown library, between work and class, when I caught sight of JM in the lobby, near the JavaMaster kiosk there. Not having any time to chat, I didn't get a chance to say "hi" but figured he might be working there, so I checked back a few times after work, but never caught him. Then, about 3 weeks ago, I went to pick up a book during lunchtime (the library is less than a block from my office) and there he was. So I got lunch there and talked to him briefly, found out he works there days, then at the restaurant nights. And re-established that he is a stellar specimen of my perfect guy in the looks department not to mention that he's got an incredible personality (the order of these things is probably having a lot to do with the season again there).
For the next week or so, I drove everyone I know crazy with babble about my crush on JM, finally being returned, a mere 3 years later. So everyone's response is, "Ask him to have a drink with you." My response being, "OK fine, but at what point do I drop in the part about 'oh, by the way, I know you think I'm a lesbian, but I'm not?"
So, last night, STS and his partner and I decided to go out for dinner at the restaurant where JM works. But, said partner got sidetracked and didn't come, so it was just the two of us. We were seated on the patio (did I mention that the place was voted "Most Romantic Dinner Spot" 3 years in a row?") and JM was working. Not our section, but nearby. By this point I've gotten STS's full approval that he is indeed perfect for me (not that he's biased or anything.) But JM was really busy and (with good reason) not even noticing us.
Until he brought out our dessert. Which we were sharing. Doh!!!
So, we said a quick "Hi, how are you." and he apologized for not noticing me earlier. I swooned like a school girl over the ice cream after he left. STS gagged a little more at my seemingly 14 year old state. We were both pretty much convinced that I'd convinced him that I was interested in boys, but unfortunately now I'm positive he thinks I'm dating STS. I can't win! (If a romantic comedy were to be made of my life right now, JM would be played by Jimmy Fallon. Would I be Janeane Garafalo (yay!) or (horror of all horrors) someone perky and cheerful like Meg Ryan?)
So this morning, I had an email from the library that a book I'd requested was in. I took this as fate. I went over around lunchtime to pick it up, then got in line at the JavaMaster. JM was working, and again super-busy. But, strangely enough, I ended up being the last person in the rush. So we got to chat a minute, which was cool, about how busy the restaurant was last night, etc. etc. I am sooooooo bad at small talk, so this is a very very huge step for me. I didn't even feel my face turn pink until I'd left. We really babbled about nothing, but I didn't manage to slip in the "single girl" thing because I couldn't figure out how to do it without seeming desperate. So I left with my latte (which he wouldn't let me pay for--good sign? or just like old times?) and possibly my dignity and went back to work in a giddy mood with a big grin on my face.
I figure, if nothing else, it's good to have a crush again. And this one is even fairly healthy, though it may not sound like it here, because he is:
a. smart, sensitive and exceedingly sexy
b. non-threatening (yes, I'm Lisa Simpson) and
c. not a project boy, of which I need no more.
And, I have a few more books on reserve that aren't in yet, so I have an excuse to go over the library more during the day. I may take our admin with me, as she has been designated the dept. relationship counselor as of late.This concludes the hormonal/spring-induces panting over cute-boy for today. I now return you to the rest of my overanalyzing, self-obsessed journal.