A rant I love...

[pixiecrinkle]

...from Tomato Nation, as regards the low-carb/no carb craze:

Cake exists for a reason; don't treat it like a vestigial tail. A moderately-sized slice now and then isn't going to kill you. Chew it slowly. Sip coffee with it. Don't bolt it down all greedy-crammy Meredith Baxter-Birney in Kate's Secret like you're doing something wrong, because you aren't. You're enjoying a piece of cake. Nobody's looking at you and thinking, "No offense or anything, but the last thing that girl needs is Linzer torte." Nobody's doing that, and if anybody is doing that, that anybody is an ass, and stupid, because one of the first things everybody needs is Linzer torte, and you can stitch that on a pillow.

I so wish I was capable of working phrases like "vestigial tail" into rants about culture. :-)

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Cake exists for a reason; don't treat it like a vestigial tail.

I promise never, ever, ever, to tuck cake into my backside and try to hide it under my jeans. Ever.

[automat76.livejournal.com]

...and what a perfect visual! i swear, too, that i remember seeing "kate's secret" on tv. either network (made for tv, when it aired), or on lifetime (chances are, at my sister's place).

my coattail:

dear twizzlers:

i see that your package indicates you are a 'fat free food.' get out! i had no idea. now i can resume my "fat free ranch dressing" diet! thank you, sweet strawberry candy, thank you!

signed,
fat-free freda


response:
dear freda:

no shit -- i am made of sugar! of course there is no fat in my sweet treat. please do me one favor and embark on the near-impossible task of re-educating half of america about the things they have forgotten since jr. high health class. my friend louis rich will soon begin to use "low-carb" as a phrase on his meat packaging. tell your friends!

xoxo,
twizzlers

[pixiecrinkle.livejournal.com]

You know what I really wish? I wish, that like that commercial that points out that fresh fruits obviously contain no high-fructose corn syrup, that fruit and veggie companies would start putting "No Cholesterol" and "Low fat!" and "High Fiber!" on the stickers with the UPC codes. I've seen "Rich in potassium" on bananas, but that's about it.

[automat76.livejournal.com]

interesting. my inner grandma, last night, noticed a certain message on her can of mixed nuts:

"check our the side panel for fat content information" [paraphrased]

perhaps it was because the front of the can was marked "low sodium?" duh -- there is fat in nuts. but mostly good fat. people are strange. and ditto to the requirements on food packaging.

[pixiecrinkle.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that the low sugar chocolates mention to check the back for the saturated fat content, which was about four days worth in one serving. Very odd.

Whobody's an ass?

[wonderfroggy.livejournal.com]

that anybody is an ass

I love it!