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Jun. 12th, 2002 05:13 pmSo, yesterday was BoyWonder's birthday and he, R., STS, his partner I. and I went to G. Michael's for dinner. Was a great dinner--had a fabulous waiter-in-training, who made a bit of a gaff midway through the meal after asking BoyWonder if he was allergic to nuts, and then letting us (and his trainer) riff with that one. Lovely night.
BoyWonder, upon opening his cards from STS and me, observed that it made him kind of sad that we knew him quite so well. He was half kidding, and I think he really meant "wistful" more than "sad," but I understand what he means. Where is the mystery when there are no secrets? Something to ponder.
Haven't talked to my boy for a few days. He called Monday night but I was at yoga class, and I emailed him to explain the whole stayed at work until 7 Monday and came in at 7 Tuesday business. He emailed a oneliner today to say he'd call tonight, but I may be out with STS.
I'm not trying to avoid him, it's just that I have an incredible lack of enthusiasm for our relationship right now, and I'm really trying hard to sort out how this is fair to him. I feel a bit like George Costanza in the episode where he breaks up with his girlfriend, and she says "No." I felt like this last time I was out there when we "discussed" everything too. I don't see how this is getting any better. I'm afraid that the conclusion I'm drawing is that I have many many priorities that come before him, but that he is still important enough to me that I won't let him hang on for dear life the way he's trying to. I see no good that can come out of a relationship that's as lopsided as ours feels right now. I just don't know how I'll make him understand that part. Oh well.
Must get home now. More later likely.
BoyWonder, upon opening his cards from STS and me, observed that it made him kind of sad that we knew him quite so well. He was half kidding, and I think he really meant "wistful" more than "sad," but I understand what he means. Where is the mystery when there are no secrets? Something to ponder.
Haven't talked to my boy for a few days. He called Monday night but I was at yoga class, and I emailed him to explain the whole stayed at work until 7 Monday and came in at 7 Tuesday business. He emailed a oneliner today to say he'd call tonight, but I may be out with STS.
I'm not trying to avoid him, it's just that I have an incredible lack of enthusiasm for our relationship right now, and I'm really trying hard to sort out how this is fair to him. I feel a bit like George Costanza in the episode where he breaks up with his girlfriend, and she says "No." I felt like this last time I was out there when we "discussed" everything too. I don't see how this is getting any better. I'm afraid that the conclusion I'm drawing is that I have many many priorities that come before him, but that he is still important enough to me that I won't let him hang on for dear life the way he's trying to. I see no good that can come out of a relationship that's as lopsided as ours feels right now. I just don't know how I'll make him understand that part. Oh well.
Must get home now. More later likely.
